I have never thought of myself as a control freak. If I am in a leadership role I have no problem trusting someone to do their job and do not feel a need to micromanage. BUT all of the goes out the window as a mother. As a mother I feel a need to fix things. I could when my girls were little! I also feel the need to fix things for my mother and my husband! Don't mess with my girls, Mike or Momma! In this season of our life God has shown me, again, that I am not in control and I cannot fix some things.
A dear friend of mine and I went to a prayer workshop last week. It was a life changing thing for both of us. We learned so much and feel so empowered. One exercise we had to do was to tell the other person what we wanted prayer for. That was easy. I just told what specific prayers I wanted. I do not know why but I mentioned to her that I was really tired! I was tired of trying to fix this. Then I had to tell her what "demon" I needed to get rid of. (spirit of rejection, spirit of unworthiness, etc) I have never done that and our first thought was that we don't have demons. Ha! We all have demons. And I know why this was called an "exercise " because it was hard work!
I wanted prayers for loved ones and how do I find a demon in that? I know God was all over that day because He brought it to my friends mind and mine at the same time. I needed to let go of control! I truly was not prepared for that! I am a mom - that is what we do! I am a wife - that is what we do! I am a daughter - that is what we do! 1 Peter 5: 7, "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." We also had to ask Jesus to replace that demon with the Truth which quickly came to us as trusting God. Aha! I had to give up control and trust God. That is a new one! I am rolling my eyes. As my friend prayed for me to give up control and trust God with my family I could feel the weight being lifted off of my shoulders.
Not only was the weight being lifted off of my shoulders but I was feeling a relief from being so tired. Proverbs 12: 25, "Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up." It was like I knew I was not going to have to carry that anymore. I knew, but had to be reminded, again, that God loves my loved ones even more than I do. He wants what is best for them. Every morning since then I have thanked God for being in control and letting me trust Him. It has been life changing on my end!
I thank God that my friend and I took that class together. Proverbs 27: 9, "Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice." Sometimes it is harder to pray with someone so close to you than a stranger and this brought us a very special bond. We were sharing very private thoughts. Ecclesiastes 4: 9, "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:"
Not only did God show me that I needed to get rid of the spirit of control but that I did not have to carry those burdens. I can trust Him! Philippians 4: 6-7, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." And once we both said "Amen" Philippians 4: 7 came alive. "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."