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  • Writer's pictureJill Jarrell Newsome

Three In This Marriage

The other night Mike and I were talking about our marriage and he said he was thankful that we talk about everything. that is true. That is true. But for years God was not in those conversations. In June we will have been married 31 years. Mike was saying he wants us to grow old together. Of course Mike and i do want to grow old together! But then Mike went on to explain that he wants us to reap all of the benefits of so many years of marriage.

I started thinking about that. Having a good marriage takes work. Every marriage has problems, but every problem has a godly solution. I have often said there were times when a counselor could not have saved our marriage but God did! God must be in your marriage. Why do I say marriage takes work? Because both spouses should sacrifice for the other - putting the other one first. We have to learn how to compromise, give in and fight fair. We must have healthy communication whether we are angry or not. Degrading each other is not ok. We must show each other respect. We would not want to speak to someone in a way that would break their spirit or their heart. We can only do this with God's help. A faithful spouse helps our emotional well being. They provide consistency in our lives and are loyal to us.

When we let God be the third person in our marriage we start looking at the truth that our spouse is created in God's image. Ecclesiastes tells us when we have a partner we can share the work and the wealth. If one falls down, the other can help. It also says two in a bed can warm each other. You are protected. But when you have a "third" things are stronger!

Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12, "It’s better to have a partner than go it alone. Share the work, share the wealth. And if one falls down, the other helps, But if there’s no one to help, tough! Two in a bed warm each other. Alone, you shiver all night. By yourself you’re unprotected. With a friend you can face the worst. Can you round up a third? A three-stranded rope isn’t easily snapped."

Did Mike and I ever fight unfair and leave God out? Absolutely! But after years of struggles and growing we have gotten to a place of peace and joy in having worked those things out. One day you realize yes, that is your best friend. Will we ever get on each others nerves again? Of course! But we are able to sit back and see where our hard work got us. How we fought for our marriage, raised two wonderful girls, started and sold a business, love doing many of the same things, have wonderful family and friends, etc. We are reaping the benefits.

Is your marriage a three stranded rope?


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