Setting Up And Showing Off...Again!
Last week I had to speak to a group and I told one of my pastors that I was nervous and he thinks that is hilarious. Because I am social and love to talk with people he can not understand my fear of public speaking. But he has no idea how far I have come. I am reminded of my MAJOR fear of public speaking and how God has been so patient with me. Taking what were not even baby steps He guided me into being able to pray in front of others. This only took 20 years! Gradually, when I felt it was God nudging me and, not people, I would say yes to different things. I would be sick almost six months ahead of time! It took thirty years before i could say that I now get "excited" instead of dreading certain speaking opportunities for God. Oh, I am still very nervous and will not do it unless I feel God nudging me. But I can look back now and see how God has guided me. I can also see that because I am not comfortable speaking in public, people know I am sincere in my sharing. I am certainly not up there to be in the lime light!!! God used my weakness to strengthen me!
My first blog was April 25 after feeling God nudge me to do this. I did not even know what a blog was!. I was uncomfortable sharing my thoughts and wrestled a while with that but eventually gave in. Here are some of the things I had written in that blog. "We cannot fulfill God's purpose for our life it we do not surrender. Surrender does not weaken you; it strengthens you!....God has been so good to me how can I not be obedient?" And then the last paragraph read, "Let God help you to be all that you can for His purpose! Imagine what your life would be like if you were to receive the blessings that God has in store for you!.... Job 22:21 'Submit to God and be at peace with him; in this way prosperity will come to you.'" Often times I said, "I have no idea why He is having me do this but I am sure He is setting me up for something."
For the past few years I have wanted a job but not just any job. Mike likes me being ready to do things with him so I was not actively looking. Here is our conversation through the last few years:
Mike - Well, Jill if you want a job why aren't you looking?
Jill - Because I want the perfect job, Mike! And you know God can find that for me. He did in the past. Remember, I do not put Him in a box. I want Him to show off like He did when I started my business. It was the perfect job at the perfect time.
Mike - Well do you think it is going to fall out of the sky?
Jill - Yep! Just like last time. I just keep thanking Him for what He is going to do for me in the way of a job. Obviously it has been a tough year and it was good I was not working. His timing will be perfect!
Now, I don't think Mike is the most patient person in the world but he is with me! You have to understand that I believed with all my heart that God would bring me the perfect job at the perfect time! I have only had two visions in my life - I guess that is what they are. The second one I shared with my pastor over a year and a half ago. One night at church I was talking to a friend who went to the Holy Land and mentioned I wanted a job. When asked what I wanted to do I said....and this is brilliant sounding! "I don't know, something in the ministry, whatever God works out!" Actually, the last part was brilliant and I am sure the Holy Spirit added that part in for me!
A while back I was asked to come into church and talk about a "job". I could not sleep for three nights wondering what God had done! Over several meetings I am amazed at what God has orchestrated! I will be spreading the good news! I will be writing like I love to do! I will be organizing retreats like I love to do! I will be speaking at retreats like I will do for God! I will be able to go with groups and on trips and write stories about how God is working at PVUMC! I already write about my trips! Who ever even heard of a job like that?
When I called and told Mike and told him about this job, he had tears in his eyes! He told me that he did not know anyone who had been more obedient and patient waiting on God to show off! You see, God also waited for Mike to be where he is now for this to happen and that brings tears to my eyes! You know I call God the greatest multitasker because He is. While he deals with all other things He was putting a job together in three hearts. He was nudging me to do a blog so they would know my writings. He had been pushing me for years with my public speaking to find my gift of organizing retreats. If I had not been faithful and moved out of my comfort zone all of those times I would not have gotten here! Two years ago I had to make a tough decision and I keep seeing God show me I did the right thing! He is faithful beyond belief! I believe this job is God given!
Yep, God has surely set me up and has shown off again! Now, you know, I always say, I do not mean that disrespectful, I just mean that He can come up with something so much better than I could ever imagine. And in case you did not get it, this is a job. The definition of a job is "a paid position of regular employment." I got a paying gig, y'all! God has truly shown off! I am starting today!
Luke 1:45, "Blessed is SHE who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to HER!!