In 1997, one year after my walk, I had a scare. A lady asked me to give a talk. I kindly told her I would not be able to and thanked her for calling. Then her next words haunted me - "you don't have to give me an answer now, I want you to pray about it. I'll call you next week." Pure panic struck but not for long because just like I had done since eighth grade, I was not going to do it! If I didn't want to do something I would run from it!
I had never cried over this stuff because I wasn’t going to do it. I could not stop crying! My Dad told me, "Jill, you are fighting God and when you quit fighting and commit I believe the tears will stop." Remember, I had given my life to Christ, 100% this time which had to include public speaking. After four months of fear I did that first talk and it was horrible but people knew I loved the Lord! Proverbs 3: 5, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding."
Fast forward almost thirty years and I felt I was being called to speak about Jesus and what He had done in my life. In 2020 when I spoke for 225 women I was petrified but also excited, for the first time ever! Several churches invited me to come speak. Maybe this was what I was supposed to do! God worked on me through COVID and I knew I could no longer run from Him. I began "our" ministry in October of 2023. He removed the things holding me back and pushed and pushed and pushed me to where He wanted me. He continues to push me but I know that I have found the desire of my heart. Psalm 37: 4, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart". Who knew my biggest fear would turn into the desire of my heart?! God is so cool!
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