• Jill Jarrell Newsome

Next Week Has Been Mentally Exhausting

"I wonder if God ever looks down, laughs a little, shakes His head and says, 'look how stressed and worried she is about nothing. If only she knew how insignificant it will turn out to be or that it will not even happen at all.'" I saw that on Facebook recently and thought how true! I used to snowball stuff in the middle of the night! I always say it is worse in the dark and there is a lot of truth to that. I learned to say out loud, "God, I know these thoughts are not of you. I cannot handle them. Please take them from me." And He did. After doing that constantly for about two weeks, I got rid of those voices that exhausted me.


I was reminded of this when I realized that August 30 came and went without me noticing! August 30 is an "anniversary" that is a hard memory. I was told on August 30, 2012 that I had stage 3 breast cancer and we wouid know in the next 2 weeks if it was in my bone and brain. I had probably only had this for six to eight weeks so I knew how aggressive it was. As my doctor told me this would be the hardest year of my life and he was right.


One of the smartest things I was told by a member of my medical team, who also had cancer, was that this was going to be the hardest part - mentally. I had been on such a fast track I did not have time to think about things. Now I would realize that I had had cancer! It was drilled into me that if I had any bone pain to come back immediately. Immediately, I felt every ache and pain. Hourly I would wonder if and when the cancer would come back. It was exhausting. One day, I had a melt down and told God, "it is what it is" and I am going to trust You with my life and live, truly live, every day. And to think the date did not even catch my eye this year! Thanks be to God!


I believed that I have a good, good Father and I trust Him. When fear crept in, I would thank God for what He was doing in my life and say out loud, "I trust You God!" Immediately, His peace would come over me. Philippians 4: 7, "and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."


The spirit of gratitude kept me positive. You cannot be full of gratitude and be negative! Psalm 9: 1, "I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds." Psalm 106: 1, "Praise the Lord. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever." I continued repeating Isaiah 53:5, "...And by His stripes we are healed."


Don't let the tension of today make you miss the blessings of today. When we are worrying about the future we are missing the present. Satan likes nothing more than to distract you from God. Obsessive worry is a spiritual battle. As a Christian, you have God on your side to fight for you. Philippians 4: 6, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Turn that worry into prayer to the one who is in control of everything!

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