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  • Writer's pictureJill Jarrell Newsome

Moving Fear To Faith

A friend finished her last treatment and was thankful and scared. I remember waiting all year to be finished and when that day came, I was petrified. Psalm 143: 4, "I am losing all hope; I am paralyzed with fear." I had at least three doctors a week looking at me and now I was being let go! All I kept hearing was if my back hurt, let them know. One of my medical team had gone through cancer and she told me that I had been on such a fast track that now I had time to sit and realize what had happened. She mentioned getting depressed.

The thought of cancer coming back came with a paralyzing fear. I had already been told I have had the maximum amount of chemo for my lifetime. And the maximum about of radiation. Every five minutes I thought about cancer. I was in my 40's scared and waiting for every ache and pain. It was consuming me and this was no way to live. Isaiah 43:1b-2, "Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned..." I got on my knees and told God I could not handle it so help me with my unbelief, take the negative thoughts. Every time a negative thought crept in, literally every 15 minutes, I would say, "I trust You, God and thank You for healing me. Philippians 4: 13, "I can do all this through him who gives me strength."

It took a while but the time span between those thoughts became further and further apart! I remember being so excited when I only thought about cancer about four times a day! After a year I did not think about cancer unless I went to the doctor or something came up. Now, not only do I not think about it but when I do I usually shed grateful tears from all the blessings of that year. I speak and claim that I have been healed in the name of Jesus!


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