Let Me Tell You About My Jesus
For the first time in three and half years I did not post a blog for one week. I did not write for two weeks. I couldn't. As I prayed God showed me Matthew 11: 28-29, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." The past week had caught up with me and I needed rest and renewal. Only one place could help me and that was in the arms of my Heavenly Father. I only saw my immediate family. I did not do social media or chat on the phone with friends. I did not watch tv. I stayed quiet and listened to praise music and allowed myself to cry all I wanted. And I sobbed for a few days.
I decided I needed this time of rest to help me heal emotionally. I have never stayed quiet like that before! If I did not rest, I could not help my daughter, write or work. Also, if I did not let go of some of these emotional burdens, I could not move forward. I would be restless until I rested in God! In the past I have had to remind myself that rest time is not waste time. In fact, just the opposite because it allows me to be strengthened. Charles Spurgeon said, "It is wisdom to take occasional furlough. In the long run, we shall do more by sometimes doing less." But this time I did not need convincing, I knew what I needed to do.
The first few days that I got to be alone I fell apart. I had been strong for my daughter but now it was time to process what had happened. My soul could not rest until I gave up everything else I was dependent on and only depended on God. God and I spent a lot of time together, talking and listening. I was reminded how Jesus spent time alone to work through distress in Luke 22: 39-44. Before Jesus was arrested, He was in emotional agony and went, alone, to the Mt of Olives and prayed. Jesus worked through grief in Matthew 14: 1-13. He learned that his cousin, John the Baptist, had been beheaded so He went away by Himself. When the disciples returned from doing ministry, Jesus encouraged them to separate from the followers and rest.
I prayed a lot and by the third day, I got on my knees and let it all go! I knew Jesus was with me and working in me. I kept thinking of all of His faithfulness through my life. Once I surrendered, I could feel His peace. Philippians 4: 7, "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." I could feel the faith filling my heart and strengthening me. I have chosen to stay quiet the rest of this week and soak up this God time. Lamentations 3:28, "Let him sit alone in silence, for the Lord has laid it on him." Once I surrendered, what a Godcidence that I was able to begin to write!
Because my daughter, Sarah's, surgery was her story to tell we kept it quiet with just a few prayer warriors. However, because it turned into so much more, Sarah said I could share my journey. And I knew she meant it after she posted on social media. The next week or two I will walk through that journey as I begin to heal. I want to tell you about my Jesus!