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  • Writer's pictureJill Jarrell Newsome

It Is Ok To Not Be Ok

Last Wednesday was a year since my daughter, Sarah, had a double mastectomy and both lungs collapsed and her blood pressure dropped. When she asked if she was going to die they told her they were doing all they could. God performed many miracles that day and saved her life. Wednesday was a tough day filled with many emotions. I told Sarah my stomach hurt, I felt fear, I was mad, I was grateful, made me knew God has big plans for her and many other emotions. She texted back, "today, I'm mad." And that is ok.

It is ok to not be ok! As Christians we quickly write off our pain because we feel that it shows our faith is not strong. We are ashamed when we can't fix our brokenness ourselves. Whether you are walking through a valley, looking at a scary diagnosis, lost a job, going through a financial disaster, dealing with failed relationships or a wayward child there is only one thing we need and that is God. He doesn't always change our circumstances but He stays with us. Hebrews 13: 5, "God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'” He changes our focus!

How many times have we seen it? It is in our weakness and vulnerability that we grow in God. There are people who need to benefit from our suffering, just as we benefit from other's suffering. Especially Jesus. His weakest moment, on the cross, was actually a moment of incomprehensible power. It brought salvation for all who believe in Him. Paul wrote in

2 Corinthians 12: 9, "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." By the end of the day Sarah said, "mostly I am just so grateful to be here and without any physical symptoms..." Then she sent a message to benefit others, "Ladies, give yourself a breast exam every month!!!"

"The Church is meant to be a hospital for sinners, not showcase for saints."


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