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  • Writer's pictureJill Jarrell Newsome

Here I Am, Lord

I went to bed at my usual 11:30 but woke up at 3:30 and knew I might as well start writing. There was no heavy heart or worry, in fact, just the opposite. Just gratefulness. Luke 5: 26, "Everyone was amazed and gave praise to God. They were filled with awe and said, 'We have seen remarkable things today.'" When I wake up in the night I always wonder if the Holy Spirit is wanting me to pray for someone so I pray for whoever may be needing my prayers and then I pray for Mom to be sleeping peacefully and for God's protection over her. I pray for God's protection over Sarah and her group on vacation, out of the country. I pray for Ivey's protection and her job promotion. Then the reason I was awake. the women's retreat today at a nearby church!

In the past I would have not slept for weeks due to fear. Before a talk, years ago, a pastor friend told me not to mistake nerves for the excitement of the Holy Spirit. I told him it was definitely nerves! Thankfully 20 years later I know it is the excitement of the Holy Spirit!

Romans 12: 11, "Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord." I laid there and told God I am blown away with what He is doing with this new ministry of His. The best part to me is that it is totally Holy Spirit led. He brings to mind what I am to do next and I start planning in my mind.

God is the God of impossibilities! Matthew 19: 26, "Jesus looked at them and said, 'With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" I will never understand how He can use sinful me! I know I don't deserve it and I cry when I think about it. I am humbled and want to do my best for Him. I am thankful for Him leading me! I am in awe at what He has done, is doing and will do! I am reminded of the song, "Here I Am Lord." "Here I am, Lord. Is it I, Lord? I have heard You calling in the night. I will go, Lord, If You lead me. I will hold Your people in my heart..."


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