It is not always easy for me to be so honest. I don't like to be real and raw so I kept fighting God. Then I heard on the radio how we are to share honestly even when it is not easy. That is when God can use us because our testimony is more powerful through our authenticity and honesty. It is during the tough times that we can show our faithfulness.
My daughter, Sarah, was preparing for surgery last year and I had felt the prayers and had peace. I went through the motions preparing to be gone for a week. As I wrote an email to my prayer warriors for specific prayers, I lost it. My heart broke. I hurt for her emotionally and physically. And I was scared after what happened during her previous surgery.
The one thing I knew was that Sarah would not be alone in that operating room and I would not be alone in that waiting room. God told and showed me that the last time. Deuteronomy 3`1:6, "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
I have a hard time admitting when I am not ok. It is ok not to be ok! I know when I am weak, I am strong but I have to keep reminding myself. 2 Corinthians 12: 11, "For when I am weak, then I am strong." God, help me with my unfaithfulness. Help me trust You! Help me to remember how faithful and good you have been to me and You are not going to stop now!