Even If The Healing Doesn't Come
Nine year ago, when I had been diagnosed my doctor said I was stage three but we would know in two weeks if the cancer had spread to my bone and brain. Those were a long two weeks with lots of reflection. To say we were stunned is an understatement. I remember that first night, lying in bed, telling Mike that if I died, he could not be mad at God. He would have to be strong for the girls. I really struggled with that. Mike came to me a little while later and told me that even if I did not make it, he would still praise God. Then he told me about a new song that had spoken to him.
Shortly after, Mike played and sang "Even If The Healing Doesn't Come" by Kutlass. "Sometimes all we have to hold on to Is what we know is true of who You are. So when the heartache hits like a hurricane That could never change who You are. And we trust in who You are.... And life falls apart And dreams are still undone You are God You are good Forever faithful One Even if the healing Even if the healing doesn't come...You're still the Great and Mighty One We trust You always You're working all things for our good We'll sing your praise."
All of us will face suffering. As I have learned we are only one doctors visit or one phone call away from our life changing forever. Us or a loved one will get sick. We will lose loved ones. When King Nebuchadnezzar threatened to throw Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in a fiery furnace because of their disobedience, they responded, "If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.” Daniel 3: 17-18
The Bible calls us to pray and ask God to bring healing. I asked and believed it with all my heart but I also said, "not my will but your will be done." That is when we know we are going to be ok because He will heal us, physically, emotionally and/or spiritually. It just may not be the way we are expecting. It is through those hard times that I learned to lean on God. Reflecting on His faithfulness is what has helped me prepare for my **upcoming surgery. "
**March 4, 2022 It hurts to type so these blogs were written prior to surgery. I am doing well!