Recently I heard, "the biggest barrier to compassion is a fear of setting boundaries and holding others accountable." A boundary for us is saying this is me — what I value, believe, need, or feel — and that is not me. But for some reason we end up feeling guilty setting boundaries even though we know, sometimes, we are enabling negative behavior. Boundaries are a part of self care and they are healthy, normal and necessary. "Boundaries are not burdens. They are gifts."
Jesus exemplified setting boundaries. He did not give into his mother and brothers who tried to use their relationship with him to pull him away from the crowd he was ministering to. Often He separated himself from others to be alone with God. He took time to rest so He would not burn out or overextend Himself. It gave Him energy and focus.
Often times we find ourselves walking on eggshells for fear of upsetting people. We all have obstacles that can distract us from the life God has intended such as the inability to say no or to confront or establish consequences in relationships. A person who will take, take, take and never appreciate will sap your energy, discourage you and damage you emotionally. We accept the person just as he is, hurtful behavior and all.
It is necessary to set standards for our life and the people we allow in it. Our personal boundaries protect our inner core so we can be who God designed us to be and to accomplish what He has asked of us. Boundaries help us determine when to say yes, and how to say no. Boundaries protect what is valuable to us and keep us in alignment with what is important to us. Proverbs 4: 23, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Our heart influences everything else in our life. We are to take ownership over our souls and what is going on in there. Guard your heart!
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